Monday, January 5, 2009

"Gay Chicken"

I've been a bit depressed lately. Anecdotal evidence has shown my confidence and success rate with the ladies much higher whenever I go back to NY. I just feel more beast mode for some reason. This gets me down. However my recent case of blues is probably just a mild case of Seasonal Affect Disorder (SAD). Isn't that a convenient acronym? I thought of another one on the train today: Fear of Amazingly Great Gay Oral Tonguing (FAGGOT). In second grade I made a poster with words vertically descending to read:

Bodacious
Lover
Awesome
sKier
Excellent

My mom showed it to me over Christmas. I was soooo cute.

Speaking of "Blake" and a "FAGGOT" acronym, this past weekend my arch nemesis was in town. He went to Williams, our rival college (well not really), is the same age as me and stole my name. We actually get along really well and he's a cool dude, but some healthy competition is good for everyone. So two years ago we created a "Blake v. Blake" challenge, where the loser must relinquish his name and go by "Duncan" in the presence of the victor. The events were:

(1) Beer Pong. He won by one cup in OT.
(2) Trivia. I won by correctly identifying the Exxon Valdez oil spill.
(3) Spelling Bee. He won. All I remember was the word was of Latin origin.
(4) Lap Around Wrigley Field. I lost due to unfamiliarity with the course at the time; I ran into a tunnel.
(5) Talent Show. He had won by now but the show went on. He stripped down to a speedo and juggled. I counted down from 100 by 7's with my eyes closed. I call that a toss-up, but judges decided in his favor.

So he won. Conviningly. Whatever. Point is, we were talking about ways to improve the challenge this summer and came up with some ideas:

(1) Our friends drop us off at least 10 miles from Chicago with no money or phone. First one back to home base wins.
(2) Trivia.
(3) "Gay Chicken": Each of us makes homosexual advances on each other until someone gives up. This idea was nixed.
(4) See who can swim furthest outside the no swim zone at North Ave beach until a lifeguard catches up to us in their dingys.
(5) Aviation and Aerospace current events.
(6) Skinemax challenge. We sit in front of TV in tighty whiteys, first one to pop wood (180 degree angle) loses. Or wins?

So we welcome any suggestions on cool events. I'm thinking the final event should be an arena spectacular. That was a Summer Heights High reference. Watch that show, seriously.

In other news, I'm planning my European Vacation route. I'm there for two weeks in February and start off in Munich. I'm thinking Munich - London - Amsterdam (dude!) - Paris - London. I've heard the German girls are hard to crack, but if I keep saying "you'd all be speaking German if it wasn't for us" they will probably loosen up.

Glad to be back.

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