Wednesday, March 19, 2008

There Will Be Faint


(Please refer to my first post about my shitty neighbors for this snippet)

I got back early from a business trip today and ended up passing out on the couch. I was woken up by loud thumping from upstairs. But this time it was different. The song that woke me up was “Kids” from MGMT. I am happy to hear their influence spreading beyond the hipster dungeon known as Westco cafĂ© to the commonfolk of the Midwest. Anyways, the event just confirmed another area of my superiority over them – Music. I knew about the Managers way before them.

In medical news, I have my surgery scheduled for April 9. The absolute worst part about this is that prior to the surgery I have to see a primary doctor for clearance. They will have to draw blood from me. You have no idea how fucked up I am about needles and blood. I get severe panic attacks and pass out whenever getting blood drawn; I literally shat my pants in a bar (McFadden’s) once just THINKING about needles. I fainted in health class three times throughout the course of high school while discussing the subject, and even once in the shower thinking about it. I would rather take a steel boot to my nuts than draw blood. The fact that my donor ACL is coming from a dead body doesn’t faze me one bit, yet I’m getting flush and pale even thinking about giving blood for 60 seconds at the current moment. I understand I’m crazy for this fear, but everyone needs to be fucked up on at least one thing. Wait, but I already have the stuttering thing going for me. Fuck. Fuck. F-F-Fuck.

The good news is that the guy performing my surgery is Sasha Cohen’s (the hot figure skater) Orthopedist. I was referred to him from the Doctor at the Snowbird clinic, who used to work with him for years. So while I grossly exaggerated my skiing skills (“I think I just landed wrong off a 20 foot cliff and my knee gave out”) we really hit it off. He understands that I’m not the typical riff-raff patient he sees for some stupid arthritis (Boring!). I am extreme. When my surgery is over, I plan on printing this picture (see above) and asking him to have Sasha personally it sign for me.

Finally, I sadly report that I am donating my Volvo to charity. The battery died, and it isn't cost effective for me to have it anymore (insurance, city sticker fees, etc.). I sure will miss the good times in that car - running out of gas on Throg's Neck bridge, driving around campus junior year yelling "Juniors Rule!", driving around campus senior year yelling "Seniors Rules!". The list goes on. Feel free to post your favorite memory of the White Stallion in the comments section.

Final Status:
1991 Volvo 740 Wagon
149,456 miles
one (1) broken horn, one (1) dead battery, one (1) door broken handle

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow! I have many fond memories from the volvo:

-Donuts in empty icy parking lots
-DMB concert
-and my favorites are from the time we got lost coming home from Shea... "chinese harlem" and realizing we were driving in circles after passing a graveyard and water tower twice (haha, and Tia nearly (if not) crying, oh yeah and.... "WE'RE GOING TO NEW JERSEY!!!!!!"

White Stallion: Happy trails old friend!

Matthew Wheeler said...

I will never forget you thinking the car was stolen at college. only to later find out that it was not in fact stolen, but you forgot you had parked it over by the CFA.

I also remember coming back from the train station with you after seeing Blackstar in NYC and this new artist called "50 Cent" coming on the radio and you saying, "this guy is the shit, he got shot like ten times."

RIP White Stallion. You were a total stud.

Tia Lovisa said...

Ok I definitely did not cry. I may have been slightly frazzled after passing the graveyard multiple times (think Blair Witch Project, and going in circles, that shht freaks me out), but there were no actual tears. I've never ever been so happy to see Cold Spring Harbor as I was in that moment.
However, all things considered, that was one of my fav volvo outtings as well.
Also up there was our really intense egg fight, which ended with you, Blake, telling me that we were no longer friends. I'm really happy we got past all that :)

Anonymous said...

Another one that just popped in my head was the time we took the long drive up to Middleton for a lax game and got a speeding ticket one block away from the field... ouch. That may have been the time i learned the word "mullet" and how it applies to laxers from Md

Anonymous said...

Driving to NYC with you, me, JJ, and Max Piana for the Ricki Lake show taping! We had a day of fun in the city, and on the way back, I was so cold I stole your polo sweater from the backseat and then kept it for a year. I loved that sweater but you repossesed it from my first Brooklyn apartment. I'll get it one day...

-- Kwalsh

Anonymous said...

Dude dude turning radius

Anonymous said...

Slowly creeping up next to nervous girls walking home alone at night, then eventually coming to a complete stop, rolling down the window, blaring the "love" theme from top gun, and staring at them, open-mouthed, for several seconds

Jeb said...

definitely the time you rear-ended that chick on the cape...and also when you drove your car into some lady's, also on the cape.