I just returned from what was supposed to be the best vacation ever. I had been anticipating skiing the best powder in North America (as voted by Ski Magazine) with some solid apres-ski hot tub action. In fact, in preparation for the trip, to be sure the altitude and challenging terrain would be easier to adapt to, I had been going to the gym 6 days a week focusing on cardio and leg-strengthening exercises.
On the first day I was so confident I would dominate the mountain, I demoed a pair of the best skis out there (K2 Coombas). Not surprisingly, the karmic gods decided to fuck me in the ass, and on the second run I blew out my knee. The only full run I made to the base of the mountain was in the toboggan.
At first I figured it was a sprain or just a bruise; nothing serious. Thus I felt like a pussy being taken down by the ski patrol dudes. So when the doctor diagnosed a full ACL tear, it was a confusing mix of emotions. On the plus side, at least I'm not a pussy, because I did sustain a serious injury. Also, to some extent, it's somewhat of a "knotch on my belt" to get hurt doing something "extreme". Further, I figured I'd probably get some good painkillers. On the negative side, I have to get surgery and rehab my knee for at least 6 months. I will probably gain some weight due to limitations on my mobility. Also, my knee fucking hurts!
Some notable highlights from the Doctor's office:
-Me asking the Doctor if he could give me a cane instead of crutches. His response: "Are you serious?"
-The nurse who did the X-rays was really hot and Australian. She said I had nice quad muscles.
-3 other people came in with significantly less serious injuries. I subtly displayed my superiority over them for their pussiness through body language (mostly posturing).
Another weird thing about it was when I sent a mass text to some friends telling them about it, about half of the them didn't take me serious. Some responses:
-"Are you fucking with me?" -Wheeler
-"Wait, are you really serious" - Tommy
-"Did you really tear your acl?? I'm so sorry if you did" -Lindsay
You get the drift. About half of my friends thought that I would make this up to fuck with them. Is this a "boy who cried wolf" situation? I can't recall any evidence of me making up any serious injury, so I don't think so. Nonetheless, it made me re-evaluate my integrity.
Props goes to those of you with positive and/or funny responses:
-"Don't think of it as the end of the ski season, but the beginning of the sympathy blowjob season" -Charlie
-"I'd rather have a broken heart than a torn acl. Actually, I wouldn't." -Jmay
To sum it all up, I don't want any sympathy, unless you are a hot chick.
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2 comments:
Blake - while I am truly sorry to hear about your accident. I need to say that I'm also thoroughly impressed with you willingness and ability to keep the "extreme" as part of your daily diet.
My only hope is that you managed to yell, scream, or even whisper "extreme" at some point during your fateful trip down the hill in what is ofter referred to as "the evil tobaggon".
your brother in extremeness,
Chris
Mele,
Don't worry, when the patrol dudes arrived I had my ski poles crossed in an X, and managed to strike a pose in which my tongue was out in an extreme manner. Pictures will follow shortly...
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